3rd Jan

 Saal ka teesra din,,, phir subah 5 baje ka alarm baja par band kar ke soya to utha 9 baje hi... is par kaam karna ab jaruri sa lagta hai jaise pehle 5 baje uthta tha gym jaata tha exercise karta tha wo hi routine wapis lana hai... aaj jo accha hu wo ye ki apni limits ka pata chala... 4 books order ki  ek free ride, 2 sudha murty ki or ek travelogue.... aaj pata laga ki mai chahe to kya nahi kar sakta.... no biscuits, no sugar, read more than 120 pages, 9km ki walk...  mujhe ye pata laga ki agar main chahu to apne aap ko challenge kar sakta hu or kisi aadat ko chhodna mushkil nhi hai mere liye... aaj poora din no instagram jiska addiction ho gya tha.... bas thoda lonely feel hota hai ki mera bhi koi partner hona chahiye...  nayi job honi chahiye... ab wo kab hoga wo to sirf bhagwan jaanta hai... vishwaas hai ki yaha tak lekar aaya to aage bhi le hi jaayega... 

2nd Jan 2026

 Saal ka dusra din start hua late uthne se... socha tha uthunga 5 baje or utha 8.45am par aur phir wo hi uthte hi phone dekhna... ye samajh aata hai ki ye aadat gandi hai aur change karni hai par chhot nahi rahi.. phir subah subah nisha ka call aaya thodi derbaatein kari or phir apna routine... ye FMS ke dost socha nahi tha is age mei koi dost bhi banenge par pyaare hai aur achhe hai... Bhagwan ki pooja ki aur aaj khaane ko mila mera favourite palak paneer... thodi der office ka kaam kiya phir wo hi gandi aadat instagram scroll karne ki.... aisa laga ki addiction ho gya saara din instagram to finally aaj instagram app delete kar diya phone mein se ab wo kitne din rehta hai wo dekhna hai... Phir nisha vikram ke sath video call karte karte kab 8.5km walk kar li pata hi nahi chala... aisa laga ki kaise shiva meri zindagi mei aaye aur kaise kaise unhone anubhav karaye aur aage bhi wo hi sambhalenge... aaj kuch productive to nahi kiya bas ek motorcycling ki video dekhi ki kaise motorcycling heal karti hai... cortisol ghat ta hai... UCLA ki study kehti hai ki motorcycling se focus badhta hai, pre frontal cortex mei change hota hai... bas ab nisha aur vikram ke sath phir call.... aisa lagta hai jaise shiva ne inse milwaya hi isiliye ki stress kam ho jaye... bas ab din ka ant karenge... kitab ke kuch panne padheneg... aur aaj ek nayi book bhi order ki... free ride... koshish to hai ki ye likhna jaari rahe or shayad kal gym chala jau... Aaj udaasi wali feeling to nahi aayi par lonely jarur feel hua...

1st Jan 2026

Journal 1_1st Jan 2026

Aaj naye saal ka pehla din, aankh khuli to FMS ke dosto Nisha aur Vikram ki video call se, jisme planning hui ki Saumya ki new year gathering mei kab tak pahuchna hai... Saal ka pehla din tha to socha apna CV hi bana lo badi mashakkat ke baad CV bana is umeed ke sath ki is saal to dusri naukkri mil hi  jayegi.. ab milegi ya nahi ye to bhagwan hi jane par ummed ke sath start kiya pir whirlpool mei bheja aur Google mei Sr. PM youtube ke role ke liye apply kiya... Aaj pehla din tha to bhagwan ka aashirwaad to lena jaruri tha to pookja ki... aaj tau ji ko gaye hue 20 saal ho gye to bhai ne jo bhandara kiya wo baata aur usi mei 3 kab baj gaye pata hi nahi chala.... socha ki aaj se wapis walk kar k dekhte hai to kart karte 8 km ki wal karli, dosto se baatein bhi kar li, new year wish bhi kar liya... mujhe lagne laga tha ki main bhi instagram addict hta ja rhahu... saara din phone par hi time nikalta hai to ussi time walk karte hue youtube khola to aaya how to remove the addiction of soacial media to us par Netflix ki documentary The social dilemma dekh daali... bas ye documentry dekhna hi ek productive kaam hua... aur koshish ki khana khaate hue phone na dekhu or usme kamiyaab bhi rha... phir ek dost se video call hui jisme uski gaadi ka puncture video call par hi lagwa liya... to saal ka pehla din aisa hi kata... ab ye journal likhna jo start kiya hai umeed hai ye kayam rahega... ab bas sone ki taiyaari... kal milenge.. 

31st December 2025 — Saal ki Aakhri bike ride

Pehli baar apne mann ki baat likh raha hoon.
Pata nahi kyun… bas likhne ka mann ho gaya.

December ka aakhri bike ride tha — Jageshwar ka.
Sach kahun to dimaag mein door-door tak Jageshwar ka koi plan nahi tha. Bas achanak ek din mann ne kaha, chalna hai, aur pata hi nahi chala ki kaise faisla ho gaya.

25–31 December ki chhutti maangi thi. Boss ne mana kar diya.
Mann udaas tha, thoda gussa bhi. Par ek baat bilkul clear thi — bike ride to hogi hi, kyunki agar kuch shaanti deta hai to bas wahi deta hai.

July ke baad ek bhi ride nahi ki thi. College, office aur ghar — isi bhaag-daud mein zindagi nikalti chali gayi. Saath hi frustration, irritation aur ek ajeeb si sadness bhi badhti gayi. Dheere-dheere lagne laga jaise main kisi kaam ka hi nahi hoon. Future andhera sa lagta tha. Itni jagah CV bheje — kahin response nahi, kahin interview ke baad silence. Office jaana bhi bojh lagne laga. Dum ghutne lagta tha.
Aisa lagta tha ki agar aur yahin ruka to ya to pagal ho jaunga, ya phir depression mein chala jaunga.

Rona chahta tha… par aansu hi nahi aate the.

Upar se bike kharab ho gayi. Tow karwa ke college se ghar laani padi. Aisa laga jaise is baar ride bhi naseeb mein nahi hai.
Par phir 26th ko jab bike sahi hui, ek hi baat mann mein thi — kal jana hi hai, chahe kuch bhi ho।

27 December ki subah 5 baje utha. Excitement thi — ride karni hai. Par saath hi ek ajeeb sa darr bhi.
Soch raha tha: kya main itni door chala paunga?
Pehlay itni rides ki hain, kabhi aisa darr nahi laga… par pichhle 5 mahine meri saari confidence jaise chura le gaye the. Samajh hi nahi aa raha tha ki main kya kar raha hoon, kyun kar raha hoon.

Bahut zyada thand aur ghani dhundh mein jab bike start ki aur ghar se nikla, to achanak ek alag hi sukoon mehsoos hua.
Jaise kisi ne mann ke andar ka shor band kar diya ho.
Future ki chinta, present ka stress — sab gayab.
Bas main, bike aur road.

Itni zyada dhundh thi ki road bhi mushkil se dikh rahi thi, par na koi bechaini thi, na darr.
Raste mein ek truck wale ne roka. Uski aankhon mein dekha to laga — shayad uska bhi mann bike chalane ka hoga, par majboori mein truck chala raha hai.
Tab ehsaas hua: jo mere paas hai, wo bahut logon ka sapna hai।

Dheere-dheere raaste katte gaye aur mann aur shaant hota gaya.

Rudrapur se pehle ek Sardar ji mile — Delhi se akele Nanakmatta Gurudwara ja rahe the. Aur ajeeb ittefaq — wo bhi Shastri Nagar ke hi nikle, jahan main paida hua tha.
Baat karte hue laga jaise wo bhi meri tarah bas sukoon dhoondhne nikle hain.

Aur phir… Jageshwar.

Wahan pahunch kar ek ajab si khushi hui. Maine socha bhi nahi tha ki main Shiv ke paas jaunga — par lagta hai unhone khud hi bula liya.
Thand mein Sahu ji ki bike gir jana, hotels ke liye bhatakna — kuch bhi pareshaan nahi kar raha tha.
Bas shaanti.

Hotel wale uncle ki wo welcoming smile… unki saadgi.
Unse milkar laga — main kyun bhaag raha hoon? Jo mere paas hai, wo bahut logon ki chahat hai.

Subah ki thand mein bike chala kar mandir pahunche. Baba ke darshan kiye.
Wahan aisa laga jaise kuch andar se nikal raha ho — darr, ghabrahat, bechaini.
Bachaa sirf sukoon.

Na waqt ki tension, na bhaag-daud.
Bas main, pahad, Sahu… aur shaanti.

Vriddh Jageshwar ka raasta rough tha, par wahan bhi masti hi masti thi. Dil chah raha tha ki ye pal kahin capture ho jaayein, aur kabhi khatam na hon.
Wahan chai wale uncle ki saadgi ne phir yaad dilaya — saadgi mein bhi sukoon hota hai.

Phir achanak mann mein aaya — Kasar Devi chalte hain.
35 km ka raasta. Kabhi plan nahi kiya tha.
Par shayad sach hi kehte hain — jahan aapka hona likha hota hai, wahan aap khud hi pahunch jaate ho।

Kasar Devi ki energy alag hi thi. Itni positivity, itni achhi vibes ki aankh band karte hi main meditative mode mein chala gaya — jabki meditation mujhse hota hi nahi.

Wahan se nikal kar Haldwani pahunche.
Hotel dhoondhte hue ek uncle mile — bas rasta bataya aur chale gaye.
Hotel wale bhaiya aise mile jaise pehle se jaante ho. Ghar jaisa khana, apnapan.

Raat ko shehar mein walk karte hue ek paan wale bhaiya mile. Unhone Neem Karoli Baba ki kahani sunayi — kaise Maharaj ji ne unhe zero se dobara khada kiya.
Unki aankhon mein dikha ki aastha aur vishwas kya kuch nahi kar sakte.
Har Tuesday mandir jaana, sab kuch un par chhod dena — jaise keh raha ho: tum bas surrender karo, baaki Bhagwan dekh lenge।

Wapas aate hue bhi koi tension nahi thi.
Bas sukoon, pyaar aur khushi.
Bhole ne saal ke aakhri din bula hi liya.

Main bhool jaata hoon…
par wo mujhe kabhi nahi bhoolte.
Hamesha mere saath rehte hain.

Moradabad mein Sahu saab ki bike kharab ho gayi — phir bhi stress nahi hua. Mann mein bas vishwas tha ki ho jaayegi.
RSA wale aaye — musalman bhai the. Bike sahi hui, phir kharab hui, phir sahi hui.
Delhi pahunch kar hi band hui.
Beech raaste Bhagwan ji ne kahin chhodne nahi diya.

Yahin phir seekh mili — surrender karo, sab apne aap sambhal jaata hai।

Har motorcycle journey kuch na kuch sikhati hai.
Pichhle 3 saalon ki meri har journey mein kuch common raha hai —
Shiva, Sahu, Sukoon aur Sabr.

Delhi wapas aakar phir wahi bechaini hai…
aur phir se Shiv se milne ki ichha.

Naye saal mein bas itna hi vishwas hai —
Shiv ne jo socha hoga, achha hi socha hoga mere liye.

बस यूँ ही

क्या ही सुनाये तुम्हे अपनी दास्तान 

कुछ खुशियों के आँसू तो कुछ गमो की है खामोशियाँ 

अब ज़िंदगी ने सब कुछ एक्सेप्ट कर लिया

अब ना किसी से शिकायते और ना ही नाराज़गिया 

बस यूं ही चलते चलते कट जाएगी ज़िंदगी 

कुछ लोग मिलेंगे कुछ छूटेंगे 

पर ये ही एक तमन्ना हैं

की आखरी सफ़र में लोग बस ये ही याद करे की खो दिया एक अच्छा दोस्त और इंसान 

- आकाश 

Khud se baat

 socha aaj khud se hi baat kar lo

dusre se to roz hi karta hu

dusro ka to roz hi khayal leta hu

aaj khud se khud ka haal puch lu

bahut samay ho gya 

khud ko pucha hi nhi 

ki khush hu ya dukhi hu

ya phir thak gaya hu 

chalte chalte ya phir sambhalte sambhalte

jawab mila ki yaad aa gyi meri

mai hi to tera humsafar hu

par shayad bhul gye the tum

koi na der aaye durust aaye 

ab thoda apne ko pehchan to lu

do pal sukoon ki saans to lu

ab bas thoda aaram chahiye

bhagti hui zindagi ko viram chahiye

khud ko khud se milwa lu

kai arse hue mile hue

                           ----Aàkash Jain

Random

Itna bhi dard mat do Kisi ko

Ki jab waqt aur karma inteqam Lene Aaye

To tumhari cheenkhen koi shor mei sun bhi na paaye 

Khush raho or rehne do 

Zindagi chhoti hai haske do pal bitane do

                             Aakash Jain

Zindagi

zindagi bhi kya cheez hai

har roz naye rang dikhati hai

par ek baat to hai

roz kuch naya sikha jati hai

                         ----Aakash Jain

Patjhad

ped se jab patte jhadte hai na

to humei to wo bas ek mausam lagta hai

par us ped ka dard puchho 

jisne un patto ko seencha hai

aur ab wo usse alag ho rhe hai

jiske sath hota hai 

wo hi mehsus karta hai

baakiyo k liye to wo bas mausam hai

                     ---Aakash Jain

Dard

 ae zindagi dard itna bhi mat de

warna ek waqt aisa aayega 

ki tu dard dete dete thak jaayegi

aur hum par koi asar bhi nhi hoga

tab tujhe kuch naya dhundhna padega

aur phir tera kaam badh jayega

                        ----Aakash Jain

Sachhai

 hum poori zindagi rishte batorte rehte hai

ye mera bhai hai behan hai bua hai chacha aur biwi hai bachha hai etc. etc.

bas inhi ko manate inse ruthte rehte hai

par asliyat to ye hai ki hum sab yaha bas kirdar nibhane aate hai

akele aaye hai yaha aur bas akele hi jaate hai...

                                   ---Aakash Jain

Bura waqt

 bura waqt na bahut kuch sikhata hai

apne or parayo mei farak dikhata hai

jinhe hum apna samajhte hai wo muh mod lete hai

or jo paraye hote hai wo hath thaam lete hai

har roz tut te hai bikharte hai

apne ko samet te hai himmat karte hai 

aur ye hi sochte hi ki guzar jayega

Kabhi to achha waqt aayega

Zindagi

Bikharna sawrna aur phir sanwar kar bikharna 

yahi zindagi hai, hai na!!

kuch bhi hamesha nahi rehta,

waqt k sath sab badal hi jata hai

Sawaal

Apne aap se ek sawaal karta hu

Ki main hi kyu

Kya rang birange sapne dekhna koi jurm hai

Dosto ke sath bachpan ke haseen pal bitana kya jurm hai

Phir mai hi kyu

Goliya to dushmano ke liye hoti hai

Mere to sab dost koi dushman nahi

School mein Ram bhi dost or rahim bhi

Phir mai hi kyu

Khuda se sabki salamati ki roz dua karta

Bado ko roz salaam karta

To sabke aankhon mein aansuo ki wajah

Phir mai hi kyu

Maine kya gunaah kiya

Kabhi kisi ka na bura kiya

To mujh par goliya kyu chali

Rang birangi duniya mei khoon ki laali kyu bhari

Ammi abba ki aankhein ab nam hai

Na jaane andar chupe kitne gum hai

Main to chala gaya

Parrrr

Par sawal to yahi hai

Ki main hi kyu……..

Aakash Jain

Random

Us din phir maa ne taiyaar karke school bheja tha
Kuch armano ka pura hone ka sapna dekha tha
Ungli pakad kar school ke gate tak chhodne aayi thi
Socha tha har roz ki tarah wo wapis lene aayengi
Aur apne laadle ko School se ghar le jayengi 
To har roz ki tarah garam garam rotiya khilate hue mujhe pyaar se sehlayegi

Par par wo din kuch alag tha
Na maa ne taiyaar kiya na chhodne aayi
Class mein bhi mujhe ajeeb se baichani thi
Ghar jakar puchunga Ki maa tu aaj aise kyu ki
Class mein Teacher padha rahi thi
Bachhe har roz ki tarah shor macha rahe the
Ki achanak hi bachho ka shor goliyo ki aawaz mein gum gaya
Dhada dhad goliya chal rahi thi
Ek ek kar ke bachho ki massomiyat wali aawaz tham rahi thi
Class ki Rang birangi duniya sirf laal ho rahi thi
Phir ek goli meri taraf aati dikhi
Isse pehli kuch samajhta aankho mei maa ki aakhri tasweer dikhi
Puchne ka kuch waqt na mila aakhri salaam ka bhi darindo ne mauka na diya
Mere sawal mere saath chale gaye or bas maa ki aankhon mein jindagi bhar ka dard or aansu de gaye…..

Aakash Jain

Random

Jindagi bhi kaise kaise chehre dikhati hai
kuch hi palo mei kisi ko apna kisi ko paraya bana deti hai
kabhi khushi k aansu to kabhi gum mein rula deti hai
kabhi kabhi sab kuch apna lagta hai or kabhi sab kuch paraya sa

jaane kaise kab kaha kis mood par takraya tha main tujhse
wo tera anjaan se chehra lagne laga jaisa tera koi rishta hai mujhse
dhere dhere jaane anjane mein kab kareeb aa gaya tere
tera har gum har khsuhi lagne lage jaise apne ho wo mere

4 mahine ka rishta aisa laga jaise pata nahi kitna purana ho
dosti aisi hui jaise rab ne likha tera mera yaarana ho
har khushi har gum mein tune mujhe main tujhe sabse pehle yaad kiya
ab aisa lagta hai ki haazaro logo k beech mein jaise saaye ne bhi sath chhod diya

wo cafe coffee day mein ghanto baith kar baatein karna
wo office k baad fursat k kuch lamhe jeena
wo calls par ek dusro se sab kuch share karna
wo ek dusre ki pareshaniyo k hal dhundhna
wo ek dusro ko pyar se samjhana
wo tera mujhe bachha bachha kehna
ek dusri ki shaadi ko lekar sad ho jaana
sab kuch bas ab ek yaad ban gaya hai
yaad bhi aisi jisse bhul jaane ka bhi koi kaaran nahi hai
kyunki teri meri dosti thi hi aisi jisme koi condition nahi thi

har musibat mein tune mera maine tera saath diya
itne dikkato k baad bhi tune mujhe or maine tujhe yaad karna band na kiya
jindagi ka tu ek aisa hissa ban gayi jisse main alag nahi kar sakta
tujhe khone ka gum aisa jisse main chah kar bhi dur nahi kar sakta

jindagi k har pal mei tujhe main yaad karta hu
teri wo baatein mulaqatein main yaad karta hu
gum bas ye hi hai ki chah kar bhi tere sath reh na saka
kya pata jindagi ek bar phir karwat le or is gum ko khushi mei badal de...

its just a random thought and not in rhythm...

Aakash Jain

Signboard....

Satnam Shri Waheguru

Zindagi kitni khoobsurat hai na......

zindagi kitni khubsurat lagti hai na
subah subah ki wo thandi hawa k jhoke k sath
jo palko ko chhokar zindagi ki khoobsurati ka ehsaa karata hai


pakshiyo ki wo chehchahat k saath
jo mann ki shaanti or sukoon ka ehsaas karata hai

wo suraj ki pehli kiran k sath
jo ek nayi shuruat ka ehsaas karata hai

us neele neele aasmaan k sath
jo aadi anant ka ehsaas karata hai

wo behti hui nadi ki khal khal k sath

jo zindagi k bahav ka ehsas dilata hai

wo mandir ki ghantiyo or mantro k uchharan k sath
jo bhagwaan ko dhanyawad karne ka ehsaas dilata hai


wo maa k sparsh k sath
jo suraksha or pyaar ka ehsaas karata hai


wo papa k aashirwaad k sath
jo jindagi mei aage badhna ka bharosa dilata hai


wo doston k kahe ho lafzo k sath
jo hamesha sath hone ka bharosa dilata hai


hamesha bhagte rehte hai humm zindagi ki is daud mein
kuch paane k junoon mein
kuch kar jaane k junoon mein
or un sab mein hum in lamho ki ahmiyat bhul jaate hai
bhul jaate hai ki jindagi kitni khoobsurat hai
kuch na hua to bhagwan ko dosh dete hai
kuch hua to bhagwan ko bhi bhul jaate hai


par aakhri mein yahi lagta hai na ki jindagi kitni khoobsurat hai
kuch haseen lamho k sath......


Random thoughts penned down by Aakash Jain

Random Thought

Why life is so mysterious and unpredictable

you never know what will happen next moment

whether you make new relations or break old ones

whether you will make new memories or experience worst ones

whether you will be alive or dead


But still everyone live in the fear of future

though all know that life is mysterious


we always say that yesterday was history, tomorrow is mystery but today is present so live it

but in reality if you ask is it really applicable in life, do we really live our present

there is no perfect answer of it as we enjoy our present in the fear of future

we enjoy beautiful moments but afraid of loosing those moments in future


we meet so many people in life

some are our known and some are unknown

some are closed to us and with some we maintain distance between us

life is so mysterious that sometime who are your known ones becomes unknown and unknown becomes known


we say emotions and feeling we have only for known ones

but sometimes you get attached so much with unknown ones

that you feel that you know those unknown ones from so many years

and your known ones becomes unknown as you dont know dem in so many years


I am still confused why life is so mysterious and unpredictable

as with in a short span i got attached with someone like i know them from so many years

How it happens, why it happens? I dont know the ans of these questions

but now again I m living my present in the fear of future

enjoying moments but have fear of loosing them in future

because life is so mysterious and unpredictable


I dont know whether this write up is complete or incomplete

But still searching for the answer why life is so mysterious and unpredictable.


These are just the random thoughts and I just penned down on my blog.


Aakash Jain