3rd Jan

 Saal ka teesra din,,, phir subah 5 baje ka alarm baja par band kar ke soya to utha 9 baje hi... is par kaam karna ab jaruri sa lagta hai jaise pehle 5 baje uthta tha gym jaata tha exercise karta tha wo hi routine wapis lana hai... aaj jo accha hu wo ye ki apni limits ka pata chala... 4 books order ki  ek free ride, 2 sudha murty ki or ek travelogue.... aaj pata laga ki mai chahe to kya nahi kar sakta.... no biscuits, no sugar, read more than 120 pages, 9km ki walk...  mujhe ye pata laga ki agar main chahu to apne aap ko challenge kar sakta hu or kisi aadat ko chhodna mushkil nhi hai mere liye... aaj poora din no instagram jiska addiction ho gya tha.... bas thoda lonely feel hota hai ki mera bhi koi partner hona chahiye...  nayi job honi chahiye... ab wo kab hoga wo to sirf bhagwan jaanta hai... vishwaas hai ki yaha tak lekar aaya to aage bhi le hi jaayega... 

2nd Jan 2026

 Saal ka dusra din start hua late uthne se... socha tha uthunga 5 baje or utha 8.45am par aur phir wo hi uthte hi phone dekhna... ye samajh aata hai ki ye aadat gandi hai aur change karni hai par chhot nahi rahi.. phir subah subah nisha ka call aaya thodi derbaatein kari or phir apna routine... ye FMS ke dost socha nahi tha is age mei koi dost bhi banenge par pyaare hai aur achhe hai... Bhagwan ki pooja ki aur aaj khaane ko mila mera favourite palak paneer... thodi der office ka kaam kiya phir wo hi gandi aadat instagram scroll karne ki.... aisa laga ki addiction ho gya saara din instagram to finally aaj instagram app delete kar diya phone mein se ab wo kitne din rehta hai wo dekhna hai... Phir nisha vikram ke sath video call karte karte kab 8.5km walk kar li pata hi nahi chala... aisa laga ki kaise shiva meri zindagi mei aaye aur kaise kaise unhone anubhav karaye aur aage bhi wo hi sambhalenge... aaj kuch productive to nahi kiya bas ek motorcycling ki video dekhi ki kaise motorcycling heal karti hai... cortisol ghat ta hai... UCLA ki study kehti hai ki motorcycling se focus badhta hai, pre frontal cortex mei change hota hai... bas ab nisha aur vikram ke sath phir call.... aisa lagta hai jaise shiva ne inse milwaya hi isiliye ki stress kam ho jaye... bas ab din ka ant karenge... kitab ke kuch panne padheneg... aur aaj ek nayi book bhi order ki... free ride... koshish to hai ki ye likhna jaari rahe or shayad kal gym chala jau... Aaj udaasi wali feeling to nahi aayi par lonely jarur feel hua...

1st Jan 2026

Journal 1_1st Jan 2026

Aaj naye saal ka pehla din, aankh khuli to FMS ke dosto Nisha aur Vikram ki video call se, jisme planning hui ki Saumya ki new year gathering mei kab tak pahuchna hai... Saal ka pehla din tha to socha apna CV hi bana lo badi mashakkat ke baad CV bana is umeed ke sath ki is saal to dusri naukkri mil hi  jayegi.. ab milegi ya nahi ye to bhagwan hi jane par ummed ke sath start kiya pir whirlpool mei bheja aur Google mei Sr. PM youtube ke role ke liye apply kiya... Aaj pehla din tha to bhagwan ka aashirwaad to lena jaruri tha to pookja ki... aaj tau ji ko gaye hue 20 saal ho gye to bhai ne jo bhandara kiya wo baata aur usi mei 3 kab baj gaye pata hi nahi chala.... socha ki aaj se wapis walk kar k dekhte hai to kart karte 8 km ki wal karli, dosto se baatein bhi kar li, new year wish bhi kar liya... mujhe lagne laga tha ki main bhi instagram addict hta ja rhahu... saara din phone par hi time nikalta hai to ussi time walk karte hue youtube khola to aaya how to remove the addiction of soacial media to us par Netflix ki documentary The social dilemma dekh daali... bas ye documentry dekhna hi ek productive kaam hua... aur koshish ki khana khaate hue phone na dekhu or usme kamiyaab bhi rha... phir ek dost se video call hui jisme uski gaadi ka puncture video call par hi lagwa liya... to saal ka pehla din aisa hi kata... ab ye journal likhna jo start kiya hai umeed hai ye kayam rahega... ab bas sone ki taiyaari... kal milenge.. 

31st December 2025 — Saal ki Aakhri bike ride

Pehli baar apne mann ki baat likh raha hoon.
Pata nahi kyun… bas likhne ka mann ho gaya.

December ka aakhri bike ride tha — Jageshwar ka.
Sach kahun to dimaag mein door-door tak Jageshwar ka koi plan nahi tha. Bas achanak ek din mann ne kaha, chalna hai, aur pata hi nahi chala ki kaise faisla ho gaya.

25–31 December ki chhutti maangi thi. Boss ne mana kar diya.
Mann udaas tha, thoda gussa bhi. Par ek baat bilkul clear thi — bike ride to hogi hi, kyunki agar kuch shaanti deta hai to bas wahi deta hai.

July ke baad ek bhi ride nahi ki thi. College, office aur ghar — isi bhaag-daud mein zindagi nikalti chali gayi. Saath hi frustration, irritation aur ek ajeeb si sadness bhi badhti gayi. Dheere-dheere lagne laga jaise main kisi kaam ka hi nahi hoon. Future andhera sa lagta tha. Itni jagah CV bheje — kahin response nahi, kahin interview ke baad silence. Office jaana bhi bojh lagne laga. Dum ghutne lagta tha.
Aisa lagta tha ki agar aur yahin ruka to ya to pagal ho jaunga, ya phir depression mein chala jaunga.

Rona chahta tha… par aansu hi nahi aate the.

Upar se bike kharab ho gayi. Tow karwa ke college se ghar laani padi. Aisa laga jaise is baar ride bhi naseeb mein nahi hai.
Par phir 26th ko jab bike sahi hui, ek hi baat mann mein thi — kal jana hi hai, chahe kuch bhi ho।

27 December ki subah 5 baje utha. Excitement thi — ride karni hai. Par saath hi ek ajeeb sa darr bhi.
Soch raha tha: kya main itni door chala paunga?
Pehlay itni rides ki hain, kabhi aisa darr nahi laga… par pichhle 5 mahine meri saari confidence jaise chura le gaye the. Samajh hi nahi aa raha tha ki main kya kar raha hoon, kyun kar raha hoon.

Bahut zyada thand aur ghani dhundh mein jab bike start ki aur ghar se nikla, to achanak ek alag hi sukoon mehsoos hua.
Jaise kisi ne mann ke andar ka shor band kar diya ho.
Future ki chinta, present ka stress — sab gayab.
Bas main, bike aur road.

Itni zyada dhundh thi ki road bhi mushkil se dikh rahi thi, par na koi bechaini thi, na darr.
Raste mein ek truck wale ne roka. Uski aankhon mein dekha to laga — shayad uska bhi mann bike chalane ka hoga, par majboori mein truck chala raha hai.
Tab ehsaas hua: jo mere paas hai, wo bahut logon ka sapna hai।

Dheere-dheere raaste katte gaye aur mann aur shaant hota gaya.

Rudrapur se pehle ek Sardar ji mile — Delhi se akele Nanakmatta Gurudwara ja rahe the. Aur ajeeb ittefaq — wo bhi Shastri Nagar ke hi nikle, jahan main paida hua tha.
Baat karte hue laga jaise wo bhi meri tarah bas sukoon dhoondhne nikle hain.

Aur phir… Jageshwar.

Wahan pahunch kar ek ajab si khushi hui. Maine socha bhi nahi tha ki main Shiv ke paas jaunga — par lagta hai unhone khud hi bula liya.
Thand mein Sahu ji ki bike gir jana, hotels ke liye bhatakna — kuch bhi pareshaan nahi kar raha tha.
Bas shaanti.

Hotel wale uncle ki wo welcoming smile… unki saadgi.
Unse milkar laga — main kyun bhaag raha hoon? Jo mere paas hai, wo bahut logon ki chahat hai.

Subah ki thand mein bike chala kar mandir pahunche. Baba ke darshan kiye.
Wahan aisa laga jaise kuch andar se nikal raha ho — darr, ghabrahat, bechaini.
Bachaa sirf sukoon.

Na waqt ki tension, na bhaag-daud.
Bas main, pahad, Sahu… aur shaanti.

Vriddh Jageshwar ka raasta rough tha, par wahan bhi masti hi masti thi. Dil chah raha tha ki ye pal kahin capture ho jaayein, aur kabhi khatam na hon.
Wahan chai wale uncle ki saadgi ne phir yaad dilaya — saadgi mein bhi sukoon hota hai.

Phir achanak mann mein aaya — Kasar Devi chalte hain.
35 km ka raasta. Kabhi plan nahi kiya tha.
Par shayad sach hi kehte hain — jahan aapka hona likha hota hai, wahan aap khud hi pahunch jaate ho।

Kasar Devi ki energy alag hi thi. Itni positivity, itni achhi vibes ki aankh band karte hi main meditative mode mein chala gaya — jabki meditation mujhse hota hi nahi.

Wahan se nikal kar Haldwani pahunche.
Hotel dhoondhte hue ek uncle mile — bas rasta bataya aur chale gaye.
Hotel wale bhaiya aise mile jaise pehle se jaante ho. Ghar jaisa khana, apnapan.

Raat ko shehar mein walk karte hue ek paan wale bhaiya mile. Unhone Neem Karoli Baba ki kahani sunayi — kaise Maharaj ji ne unhe zero se dobara khada kiya.
Unki aankhon mein dikha ki aastha aur vishwas kya kuch nahi kar sakte.
Har Tuesday mandir jaana, sab kuch un par chhod dena — jaise keh raha ho: tum bas surrender karo, baaki Bhagwan dekh lenge।

Wapas aate hue bhi koi tension nahi thi.
Bas sukoon, pyaar aur khushi.
Bhole ne saal ke aakhri din bula hi liya.

Main bhool jaata hoon…
par wo mujhe kabhi nahi bhoolte.
Hamesha mere saath rehte hain.

Moradabad mein Sahu saab ki bike kharab ho gayi — phir bhi stress nahi hua. Mann mein bas vishwas tha ki ho jaayegi.
RSA wale aaye — musalman bhai the. Bike sahi hui, phir kharab hui, phir sahi hui.
Delhi pahunch kar hi band hui.
Beech raaste Bhagwan ji ne kahin chhodne nahi diya.

Yahin phir seekh mili — surrender karo, sab apne aap sambhal jaata hai।

Har motorcycle journey kuch na kuch sikhati hai.
Pichhle 3 saalon ki meri har journey mein kuch common raha hai —
Shiva, Sahu, Sukoon aur Sabr.

Delhi wapas aakar phir wahi bechaini hai…
aur phir se Shiv se milne ki ichha.

Naye saal mein bas itna hi vishwas hai —
Shiv ne jo socha hoga, achha hi socha hoga mere liye.

बस यूँ ही

क्या ही सुनाये तुम्हे अपनी दास्तान 

कुछ खुशियों के आँसू तो कुछ गमो की है खामोशियाँ 

अब ज़िंदगी ने सब कुछ एक्सेप्ट कर लिया

अब ना किसी से शिकायते और ना ही नाराज़गिया 

बस यूं ही चलते चलते कट जाएगी ज़िंदगी 

कुछ लोग मिलेंगे कुछ छूटेंगे 

पर ये ही एक तमन्ना हैं

की आखरी सफ़र में लोग बस ये ही याद करे की खो दिया एक अच्छा दोस्त और इंसान 

- आकाश 

Khud se baat

 socha aaj khud se hi baat kar lo

dusre se to roz hi karta hu

dusro ka to roz hi khayal leta hu

aaj khud se khud ka haal puch lu

bahut samay ho gya 

khud ko pucha hi nhi 

ki khush hu ya dukhi hu

ya phir thak gaya hu 

chalte chalte ya phir sambhalte sambhalte

jawab mila ki yaad aa gyi meri

mai hi to tera humsafar hu

par shayad bhul gye the tum

koi na der aaye durust aaye 

ab thoda apne ko pehchan to lu

do pal sukoon ki saans to lu

ab bas thoda aaram chahiye

bhagti hui zindagi ko viram chahiye

khud ko khud se milwa lu

kai arse hue mile hue

                           ----Aàkash Jain

Random

Itna bhi dard mat do Kisi ko

Ki jab waqt aur karma inteqam Lene Aaye

To tumhari cheenkhen koi shor mei sun bhi na paaye 

Khush raho or rehne do 

Zindagi chhoti hai haske do pal bitane do

                             Aakash Jain